Tommy, can you hear me?

The audiobook is still pending final approval eight days after I uploaded all the audio masters on ACX, the Amazon audiobook platform. So far ACX has only approved the cover image, not any of the audio master files.

This situation reminds me of the 1969 rock opera, Tommy, by The Who. Roger Daltrey sings the refrain, “Tommy can you hear me?” Right now, no one can hear the audiobook, because ACX is still sitting on it.

The metal pinball as a mysterious orb in Tommy

“Tommy can you hear me?/Can you feel me near you?

 Tommy can you see me?/Can I help to cheer you?”

I remember going to watch the movie Tommy in the theater in Dolby surround sound. It was March, 1975. I must have been 17 at the time. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. The plot is a bit difficult to follow. I didn’t want to admit to my friends that I was not sophisticated enough to get it.

This movie still for the movie Tommy always freaked me out

ACX could cheer me considerably by finishing their interminable analysis of the audio masters and by putting the audiobook online. Once I have the audiobook, I can begin a serious promotion effort. It does not make sense to pay for advertising until I have the audiobook as well as the print and eBook.

It’s funny that in life we constantly strive to understand things and to achieve a level of sophistication. But we never understand everything. Even if we become sophisticated in one way, we find that we are still naïve in other ways. I decided to become a writer starting at age 62. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and alarmingly, I didn’t care. I like to write, and some people told me they liked my writing.

Let me be clear. The people who told me they like my writing are my parents and my siblings. They told me that to make me feel good. They did not mean it. Never believe parents and siblings when they say you are good at something. If they say you sing well enough for America’s Got Talent, they are lying.

I Googled worst singer on AGT and this image came up

My nephew Artie recorded the book for me. The kid has serious chops aa voice actor. I want people to hear his recorded voice. But I can’t do anything about it as long as ACX holds my book hostage. Why is ACX delaying? Does a real person at ACX actually have to listen to the book, or is it just a computer?

It fascinates me that the book market is now split in three parts: print, eBooks, and audiobooks. I still think the print book is the best. I realize my view is becoming more and more quaint every year. With an eBook, you get all the text as well as all the photos, not a bad deal. With audiobooks, you only get the audio. There are no pictures. And not every book is suitable for conversion to an audiobook. Mine was.

I am naturally suspicious of large companies that have monopolistic properties. ACX is not a true monopoly but it is large enough to be considered an 800-pound gorilla in the audiobook market. I just Googled to find out how long it normally takes ACX to finish analysis and approve an audiobook. I was shocked to read that authors have waiting multiple weeks or even multiple MONTHS for the approval.

How long do I have to wait, ACX?

I wonder if I should try uploading the audio masters to another audiobook platform. I probably signed a contract with ACX that would prevent me from going with another platform. I never read their legalese all the way to the end. It seems to be written badly in order to discourage anyone from reading all of it.

If anyone has any advice on how to get ACX to finish the approval process faster than normal, please let me know. I would really appreciate it. In the meantime, let me repeat: “Tommy, can you hear me…?”